you've never cared for cemeteries
by xoxomolls
Summary: Death has always been such an ugly thing—digging into hearts and weaving itself between arteries and taking and taking and taking until there's nothing, or no one, left to take. Todoroki/Midoriya


**Title:** you've never cared for cemeteries

 **Characters/Pairings:** Midoriya/Todoroki

 **Summary:** Death has always been such an ugly thing—digging into hearts and weaving itself between arteries and taking and taking and taking until there's nothing, or no one, left to take.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

Death has always been such an ugly thing—digging into hearts and weaving itself between arteries and taking and taking and taking until there's nothing, or no one, left to take.

His hands shake, hard enough to make his wrists ache from the force of it. He frowns and closes his eyes, trying to get enough air into his lungs to make a difference. But he feels like he's drowning and he's not even sure his lungs work anymore.

"Todoroki?"

The voice is soft and worried and the only thing he can think is that it's the wrong voice.

"What?" he asks as he turns to face the door.

Uraraka stands there, eyes clouded and unsure. "I didn't know if you wanted company. Maybe we can walk to the service together?" Her tone is hopefully and open, but he knows that it's underlying with pity.

"I'm not going."

She frowns, her mouth opening and closing repetitively until she tilts her head to the side in confusion. "I don't understand."

"I'm not going. I don't know how I can be any plainer," he says, his left side heating up as he turns away.

Uraraka looks at him. "Why wouldn't you go? He was your friend."

And just like that, he's angry and he knows it's too late to do anything about the flames shooting from his skin. "He was more than just my friend. He was my everything. He was the only thing good in the world. And now he's gone."

He knew he was crying—ugly sobs racking his body, ripping at his already fragile frame. But it doesn't matter because he can still see blank eyes and green hair stained with blood.

 _"Promise you won't leave me," Midoriya whispers, his hands wrapped around the other boy's neck._

 _Todoroki smiles and presses his lips against the other's forehead. "Promise. I will always be here. Anywhere you go, I'll be coming too."_

Uraraka steps towards him, conflicting feelings splayed across her face, but he holds up a hand and shakes his head. She nods, a familiar weight settling over her chest, and turns around to leave.

"He loved you, too," she says and then she's gone.

Todoroki knows. In a way, that almost makes it worse.

…

He curls up in bed that night, his entire form squished onto the left side. It just doesn't feel right to take the side that belongs to Midoriya.

He can still feel the boy's body, warm, pressed against his own, emerald eyes staring back at him with a glint of adoration. He can still hear the twinkling laughter if he tries hard enough.

 _"Todoroki?" He asks, pink spreading delicately across his cheeks._

 _"Yes?" Todoroki asks, staring at the shorter boy, who had appeared at his doorway with watery eyes and shaking hands._

 _"Can I stay with you?"_

 _The question surprises him, but he already knows the answer. Instead of a verbal response, he simply reaches out to take Midoriya's hand, leading the boy to the bed, curling around him until the shaking stops._

 _A mumbled, quiet "thank you" is the only reply he gets._

 _"Always," Todoroki replies and he means it with everything he has._

…

It's stupid, he thinks. It's so abundantly stupid that Midoriya is gone.

He clenches his fists together, ignoring the stab of pain when his nails dig into his skin.

He should have expected it. They all signed up for this, to put their lives on the line, to fight against villains, to put themselves in the line of fire on purpose. Their job wasn't safe by any means, but for some reason Todoroki hadn't even entertained the idea of losing Midoriya.

He sighs, a long, exhausted sound that pulls at his chest. He should have known.

The green-eyed boy was never one to stay behind when someone was in danger. He thinks back to the Sports Festival, to the look in his eyes when he screamed "It's your power!" Midoriya was always sacrificing himself to try and save the people around him.

 _It is a random attack at the mall from what they can tell. A group of lower level villains had spread out, setting fires and screaming threats. It was a complete coincidence that Todoroki and Midoriya were there to watch the entire thing unfold._

 _The Pro Heroes get there quickly and it ends without much hassle. Todoroki turns to look at Midoriya, a relieved look on his face, when the other boy rips his hand out of the dual user's and sprints away, his Quirk already lighting up his body._

 _Of course, Midoriya is the first to see it. An unseen villain, cloaked in shadows, clutching a small child. The green-haired boy raises his fist, anger written along his forehead._

 _It happens in a second._

 _The shadows move, tossing the hostage to the side, and Midoriya stops, frozen._

 _Todoroki feels his blood run cold and hot at the same time, fire and frost dancing along his skin. And then there's blood, too much blood, and Midoriya is swaying unnaturally, his limbs contorting in a strange, frenzied dance. The green-haired boy falls, purple fragments, seemingly made out of ash, protruding from his chest._

 _Todoroki screams his name and his feet start to move on their own, leaving several Pros turning to stare at him in confusion and concern. He runs towards the body on the ground, his eyes fixated on Midoriya._

 _"It's okay. You're going to be okay. Stay with me," he whispers, holding the boy's face delicately between his hands._

 _But blank eyes stare back at him from where emerald, lively orbs should be._

 _And he feels something inside of him shatter._

…

Days pass and then weeks and then months.

And it all feels like nothing to him.

Todoroki can feel the pit in his chest getting wider with every moment that slips past him—every moment spent alone, staring at the space where Midoriya should be.

He absentmindedly forms balls of fire in his palm, thinking back again to the first time he realized that he might be in love with the green-eyed boy.

 _"Why did you do it?" Todoroki asks, staring at the boy laying in the hospital bed._

 _Midoriya turns to face him, eyebrow furrowed in confusion. "What?"_

 _"You sacrificed yourself for me. Why?"_

 _"Because you needed me to," the boy replies simply, unflinchingly._

 _Todoroki doesn't have a response to that. Instead, he pulls up a chair and sits beside the hospital bed, reaching for the shorter boy's hand._

 _Midoriya smiles at him and he doesn't think he's ever felt his heart beat this fast. He traces his fingers along the other's bandages and avoids eye contact._

 _"You're reckless," he says, but he can feel the injured boy's fingers squeezing his own and it makes a sigh of relief settle in his stomach._

 _He stays there until it's dark outside and Midoriya's eyes are closed, his chest rising with a gentle rhythm. And as he watches the boy sleep, a warm feeling rushes through his chest and he can't fight the urge anymore._

 _He leans forward, his free hand brushing unruly curls away from Midoriya's forehead, and presses his lips to pale skin._

 _"Thank you," Todoroki whispers, leaning his head against the mattress and closing his eyes, hand still wrapped around the other boy's._

…

He doesn't know who he is anymore without Midoriya. He just feels empty and alone and guilty because it should have been him.

God damn in, it should have been him.

He drags a hand across his face, trying not to picture green eyes or pale cheeks dotted with freckles. He succeeds for a few seconds before memories fill his head and he's trapped, thinking about what he can't have anymore.

He can hear light chuckles and feel tender fingers ghosting over his arms.

He closes his eyes, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

"Anywhere you go, I'll be coming too," he whispers, thinking back to that day.

Well, he's never been one to break promises.

…

All Might finds him the next day, sprawled across Midoriya's grave, his eyes closed and a peaceful expression painted across his face.

The hero leans down, fingers feeling for a pulse that he knows he won't find.

"Young Todoroki," he says quietly, but not surprised.

A part of him ached, thinking about the devastating loss of the two heroes, but a bigger part of him smiled at the thought of the two reunited.

He was the only to pull Todoroki away from Midoriya's corpse, the young boy covered in blood and his body wracking with sobs.

 _"You have to let go, young Todoroki. He's gone."_

 _The boy froze, his hands stretched towards Midoriya. "He's gone," he repeated._

 _His legs give out then and he falls against the hero, eyes wide and wild._

 _All Might holds his shaking frame, letting their tears mix together at the loss of the young boy._

 _Todoroki whispers something and All Might barely hears the words through the noise surrounding them._

 _"Anywhere you go, I'll be coming too."_

 _All Might doesn't know what to say, so he squeezes the boy tighter and closes his eyes._


End file.
